View from the Back- The Steep Road

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The Harleys snarl and eat up the road as the long line of motorcycles climb up the hills. My husband’s helmet only partially blocks my view as we pass open fields of scratchy bushes and dried out grass. The mountains on my right loom menacingly, covered with dark clouds. Would we accomplish our quest before the downpour? Various weather sites disagree but we ride anyway.

The constant roar becomes a buzzing droning sound as more miles are vanquished. A bright yellow road sign stands out in the grey meadows– Steep Grade Ahead. Our ride captain briefed us earlier about this. His battle plan- down shift, hold the back brake, and make sure to leave plenty of space between the bikes. My stomach clenched slightly as we zoomed past the sign.

Suddenly, brakes lights flash ahead of us. The road, which had been squeezed between massive boulders, instantly opened up to a series of rolling hills and valleys. We head down the roller coaster pitched road with respect. Our frontal view includes dotted hills of avocado trees, wooded glens, white fenced ranches, and immense stone mansions that ruled their acres of land. The road is so steep that my husband’s helmet no longer blocks my view. Memories of horseback riding on mountain trails flooded my mind. I had to trust the horse back then. Now it’s my husband and his trusty Road King that must carry us safely to the bottom.

At a snail’s pace, I have plenty of time to enjoy the panorama unfolding around us. The Harleys follow each other like a dog pack, growling but obedient to the alpha. After some time, somewhat longer than I could hold my breath, we reach flatter ground. The captain pulls over to wait for the bikes emerging from the hill. One by one they join him in a line at the side of the road. My husband tosses a smile back at me, the kind of grin little boys wear when they’ve made that big jump with their bicycle.

I am surprised to realize that my smile mirrors his.

Barnes & Noble, Dead Nooks, and Brave New Branding

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Author Kristen Lamb's avatarKristen Lamb's Blog

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The big news in publishing this week is Barnes & Noble’s plan to ax the Nook. After losing over a billion dollars trying to make the Nook a contender, it seems B&N’s new CEO is ready to just cut bait. According to Michael Kozlowski over at Good E Reader:

The NOOK segment (including digital content, devices and accessories) had revenues of $52 million for the 4th quarter and $264 million for the full year, decreasing 39.8% for the quarter and 47.8% for the year. Device and accessories sales were $13 million for the quarter and $86 million for the full year, declining 48.2% and 66.7%, respectively, due to lower unit selling volume. Digital content sales were $40 million for the quarter and $177 million for the full year, declining 36.5% and 27.8%, respectively, due primarily to lower device unit sales.

All I have to say is…OUCH.

I’d like to…

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From the green room

As we wind down the week of Summer Splash, I enjoy an unusual quiet moment in the green room.

This year was Rise of the Heroes, a super hero version of the book of Acts.  For the past four days we’ve been the reporters from the Daily Globe getting the scoop on super hero Paul and the J men. In between performances our cast has walked around in costume interacting with the kids. There’s a morning drama and then my cast performs. Besides our theater time rotation, there are water games, snacks and crafts.

After the first day, the kids get caught up into the drama. They stop us and tell us about Jesus. Some kids boo the villains, while others try to convince us of the truth. Walking through the water games can make cast members victims of sponge attacks.

As the days go by, the audience participates more loudly during performances. Villains are booed at the end of their scenes while the heroes are cheered.

At the of Friday’s session the casts of both dramas stay and sign workbooks and t shirts for the kids. The band returns for a family concert that night.

The magic is over. We take off our costumes for the last time and start dreaming of next year.

Heaven’s Tears

Puffy white clouds scoot across the sun in a brilliant blue sky. The air is crispy fresh, and the sand is cool under bare feet. Waves dump foam close to me. On the horizon, a bank of grey threatens but the sunny present holds my attention. After wandering along the debris strewn water line, I found just the right spot to spread out my towel. Relaxing my curves into the moldable sand, I close my eyes and feel the support beneath me. My mind drifts into sleepy places, and then suddenly, a cold splash hits my cheek. It’s nothing, I reassure myself. Plink! Plink! Two drops hit my eyelids. Grudgingly I sit up. The increasing barrage of water announces that the thunderheads have snuck up on me. I grab my towel and dash to the parking lot, woken up by heaven’s tears.

Inspiration

Quiet and chaos.

These unlikely twins are the source of my writing inspiration. Once a month, my husband and I pack up the travel trailer and go camping for the weekend. Load after load of clothes, food, bikes, firewood, and water are stuffed into every cabinet and cupboard until we practically take the whole house with us. Away we ride into the hair-raising Friday afternoon traffic. Drivers merge onto the freeway engrossed in their phone conversations, unaware that a 45 feet long combination of truck and trailer is right next to them. Suddenly they look to their left and gasp as they realize the lane ahead of them is ending,and they have nowhere to go. We find it amusing to watch them speed up or hit their brakes as they figure out how to get into our lane.

Just when our nerves have worn thin, our exit appears like the sight of land from the crow’s nest, and we arrive at the seaside campground. After checking in at the kiosk, we find our spot, a tiny space in a massive jigsaw puzzle of trailers, RVs and tents. After a few tense moments of backing in the trailer, made more difficult by the men in the spaces around us watching us as if we were a college football game, we fit our trailer into the narrow slot. We communicate by cell phone, my husband driving the truck and me standing in the space directing him. Often he reminds me that “Oh! Oh! Ooooh!” is not a direction.

My husband drops the trailer, wedges the truck into the space, and it’s time to set up. Out comes the woven rug, trash can, and welcome mat. We hurriedly munch on leftovers, as there’s not enough time to grill the first night. A rhythmic roar urges us to make haste. Quickly we throw on jackets that were unneeded back in the desert, and head for the stairs.

The stairs. Three flights of wind-blasted, splintered boards that serpentine down the jagged cliff to the sand. My life with all its twists and painful experiences. We descend slowly, carefully as the boards creak beneath our feet.

But at the end, there is cool sand. My toes sink gratefully into it as I kick off my flip flops, Hand in hand, we walk along the high tide line, stepping carefully over shells and branches of seaweed. The waves murmur encouragement as they coat my feet in salty foam.

Here I see words in the fading pinks and oranges on the horizon. Stories call to me in the gulls streaking across the sky.

Quiet speaks writing to me, but I also hear its voice in the chaos.

My life as an elementary school teacher is full of noise. Hundreds of questions, complaints, unrelated comments barrage me daily. One student’s elaborated crafted excuse about their missing homework inspires me with an idea for a character. Analyzing their writing forces me to justify what simply jumps out of my head, breaking it down into its smaller parts. I try to infuse my students with my love of reading. “Can you believe what that character just did?” I ask, drawing them into discussion.

In the chatter of my classroom, I find joy, frustration, perseverance, revelation. These speak to the story in my heart as clearly as the hush of the seashore.

As my fingers push the keys, the quiet and the chaos tell their stories. .

Four T-shirt Summer

Four T-shirt Summer

                 I laid in corpse pose on my living room floor, feeling my breath cycle through my prone body. My morning yoga had loosened up my back, sore from the various beds I slept in during my four t-shirt summer.

                First t-shirt came with Summer Splash. For the uninitiated, that’s a week each summer when 1000 or so elementary students converge on our church for bible stories, water games, snacks, and crafts. Adults use the excuse to “volunteer” as a reason to dress up as pirates and drench children with water. This year I directed the play I wrote, stepping down from the stage to become an outsider. Of course, I wore a pirate costume. I was the proud parent in the audience taking pictures instead of delivering purposeful lines on stage. Exciting but sad.

                Following that week, Frank and I retreated to Yosemite to see the real Artist’s work. After hiking to see waterfalls in the cooler mornings, we survived the heat by sitting in the Merced River, allowing the clear cold water to carry away our tiredness. I watched the waves of trees roll by with moist eyes, listening to David Crowder music as we drove home.

                Second t-shirt- The Rebellion, high school church camp in the mountains. Feeling akin to the freshman girls in my cabin. Cultural plunge. No sleep. Many tears. Special friends. Happy to get home.

                Third t-shirt- Mexico mission trip with the high school group. More focused, more realistic expectations made this trip enjoyable. Finally I was able to connect with my team and learn how to be a leader. The landscape at El Nino looked like a Mad Max movie- desolate, waterless, trash-filled, and ruined. No color except grey mud and spray painted graffiti. Instead people provided the color-with smiles, music, and great food. Heartbreak and anger against a government that keeps its citizens in chains of poverty. Three hours waiting in line, buying churros and singing with the radio. Outside the van window goes from grey to green grass and trees. We’re back in the United States.

                Fourth t-shirt- San Diego. After Mexico, Frank and I escaped to Oceanside. Tried to find my saturation point with going to the beach. Conclusion- never want to go back to the desert. After taking the train down to San Diego, we ended up in the Harley gift shop. Now that we own a Road King, we can permit ourselves to buy official apparel, which we do with enthusiasm.

                Now back in Riverside, the desert heat wrapped around me as we attempt sleep in our almost cool bedroom. Missing the gentle nights at the beach where the breeze tickles you to sleep and wakes you gently to misty mornings.

                Time to go back to school, so I take my t-shirts and fold them into my drawer until needed. I take out my Pachappa Elementary School t-shirt. Now it is time to teach students how to take pride in their work, accept others, feel compassion, become teams, and find fun every day.

                Until next summer.

The College of the Crones

I have just returned from my four t-shirt summer to post the first chapter of my YA fantasy novel The College of the Crones. This project has taken about 3 years to complete, with the help of my husband, writers group, and my editor. Enjoy!

Chapter One
Birthday Party
Birthday parties are usually happy, highly anticipated events, and yet Meghan’s heart was clouded with dread. Her stomach felt like it housed a backflipping dance troupe, and her head was fuzzy from lack of sleep. Persistent questions filled her mind. Why wasn’t she excited? Her cousins had already turned eighteen, expected age for marriage, and moved forward into their adult lives with enthusiasm. Their wedding dates were announced, as customary, at their birthday parties. Now it was her turn.
Her cousins’ husbands, carefully chosen by her uncles, provided their wives with every pleasure and beautiful adornment. Had she not seen her cousins joyfully wave at her from their carriages on their way to a party? Had she not been blinded by Cousin Mary’s dazzling diamond rings? Had she not heard Cousin Bridgette’s satin skirts swish with importance as she moved? Such wealth! Such finery! So why did Meghan feel apprehensive when she pictured herself as the baker’s wife?
Her father had chosen for her Harold, the village baker, an important man in a land of perpetual parties. His cakes were legendary in all of Beautiful, even asked for by name by the prince. Surely her father loved her, his only child, so much that he would not choose to pass her off to an ogre. Yet when she looked upon her future husband, she saw a round, balding middle-aged man, missing some teeth—a casualty of the frequent tasting of his creations. Not pleasant to behold now, and surely worse as time passed, she imagined.
Meghan shook her head, thinking herself a superficial snob for worrying about his physical appearance when perhaps he was made of something sweeter beneath his vanilla veneer. Alas, she remembered their first conversation; her clever quips were met with a never-ending litany of ingredients and measurements that made her mouth water but her eyes droop. He spent so much of his time in the bakery developing more exotic and delicious desserts– exquisite, breathtaking desserts–that he rarely spoke at all. Even yesterday, with their betrothal pending, Meghan visited the bakery to pick up tea cakes and greeted him using her most genuine smile, but his pale eyes betrayed no passion for her. He took her gold, handed her the cakes, and turned back to mix batter. Was this man to be her life’s companion and father of her children?
So many questions darted through her mind. She knew what Crone Mother would say. “Meghan,” she would remind her, “You always have a choice, my dear. You don’t have to blindly follow the ways of your people. If you desired, you could forsake party life by running away to the College of the Crones. You would not become a man’s plaything. Your studies would prepare you for a fulfilling life, serving others with your skills.”
Then Crone Mother would stroke Meghan’s silky copper hair. “Of course, you would end up old and ugly like me,” she added, pointing toward her wart-covered face.
“Oh, Crone Mother,” Meghan protested, hugging her dearly. “You are the most beautiful person I know.” Then Crone Mother would kiss Meghan’s check with her rough lips and whisper, “Remember that, my lovely child, when you are out there in the world.”
What will I have time to remember? The wives in the land of Beautiful led busy lives. Meghan’s mother, Margaret, spent her days shopping for beautiful clothes and preparing for the prince’s nightly parties. This took much time. Between beauty treatments and hair styling and the two hours it took the crones to dress Margaret in her fabulous gowns, party preparation was nearly a full-time job. Layer upon layer of rich velvet, slippery satin, and shimmering silk provided the perfect frame for her mother’s lovely face. Cosmetics highlighted her glowing green eyes, a feature she shared with the other wives in the land. Not an ounce of fat or blemish marred her perfect beauty. Flawless beauty that never faded, year after year.
What do I have to fear? Meghan sat in the window seat, looking out over the rolling hills. Taking the tonic would turn her eyes green and maybe even change her hair color, but marriage was expected to be a life-changing event. Every girl was expected to marry at eighteen, and she had to marry before she was allowed to take the tonic.
The tonic.
Meghan remembered the first time she saw the small brown bottle sitting on her mother’s dressing table, right next to a silver hand mirror. She had picked it up and tried to pry out the cork when her mother entered the bedchamber and quickly rescued it from her three–year-old hands.
“No! Bad girl!” she had cried in panic. “Don’t play with Mother’s things!” Her mother was wide-eyed and flushed of cheek, still beautiful but also frightening enough to make Meghan cry. She was too young to understand the bottle’s importance. Only years later, when she was sent to finishing school, did she realize the tonic’s value.
“Meghan, what are you doing?” Crone Mother called from outside her door. “It is time to choose the wine for your birthday party. Come down and help your mother.”
“Coming, Crone Mother,” Meghan replied. She jumped down from the window seat and went down to help with preparations for her party.
As she descended the stairs from the bedchambers, she saw her mother seated in the front room in a pale blue velvet cushioned chair. Its elegance and gem-tone color complemented her beauty but did nothing to detract from it. She was the full grown version of Meghan, tall and thin, pale with braided bronze hair elaborately wound into coils on her head. Sparkling green eyes reflected the multicolored jewels she wore. Today, her dress was dove grey satin, trimmed with lace at every edge. Even alone in her private suite, she was a vision.
Before her on an ornately carved table were a half dozen wine bottles open, breathing. Miniature crystal wine goblets formed an arc around the bottles, each with no more than a taste of wine in it. After sipping one, she sighed, took a tiny bite of the cheese from the plate in front of her, and moved on to the next goblet.
Meghan seated herself across from the exquisite woman she barely knew, and waited for her direction. While boys Meghan’s age had studied history, geography, and literature, her childhood instruction had included such crucial lessons as how to pair the right wine with the right course at dinner, how to pinch her cheeks to give rise to just the perfect (and believable) blush, and how to curtsey in a manner that showed respect and just the right amount of flirtation. Girls of Beautiful were educated to be the perfect hostesses, the role they would perform as wives.
“What do you think about this elderberry wine from Ferrytown? It’s slightly tart which would go nicely with the brie pastries,” her mother asked and answered in one breath. Meghan reached for the goblet that she indicated. She sipped it cautiously, holding the dark red liquid in her mouth for a moment before swallowing it. It burned but left a sweet aftertaste. “I like it,” she answered. “It has good balance.”
“Thank you, daughter,” Margaret said with relief. “Sometimes I think it’s getting more difficult for me to tell the difference between vintages. They all begin to taste the same after a while.” Her perfect face clouded with the slightest wisp of concern. Knowing that concern made her forehead crease unattractively, she quickly shook the sensation and her porcelain skin smoothed in response.
“Have you chosen the gown you will wear at your party? Crone Mother hung the dresses I purchased in your wardrobe. I need to know today whether you will wear the blue or ivory, so that I can order the appropriate flowers.” Her mother seemed a bit cross with her, as usual. No doubt she was disappointed in her daughter’s lack of enthusiasm for the details of her own party.
Meghan had seen the row of shimmering gowns in her wardrobe. Her mother sorted them with her two favorites facing the front. Each choice Meghan made brought her closer to her birthday party, the event which would end childhood and usher in adult married life. Her hands felt clammy as she considered her choice. What difference would it make if she wore blue or ivory? The color of her dress seemed insignificant compared to the huge decision she was making for her entire life. Why was this so difficult for her? Everyone who cared about her was excited about her upcoming marriage. Why couldn’t she breathe? Her mother looked at her expectantly. The clouds in Meghan’s mind swirled like a whirlwind. Her headache pounded in rhythm with her racing heart.
“I can’t decide, Mother. Choose the gown for me,” she finally blurted out, and dashed out of the room.
“If you don’t like the gowns,” her beautiful mother called after her, “we can find others.”
She ran through the kitchen, where Crone Mother was preparing dinner. “Meghan!” she called after the blur that was Meghan. “What’s wrong, child? Come here a moment.”
But Meghan did not answer as she ran out the back door. She kept running out into the fields, past the knot eyed oak tree, over the stones in the creek, and into the woods, her childhood retreat.
As she ran, she wondered what drove her speed. Was it the thought of marrying the dreary baker, or was it the prince who frightened her? The prince presided over every birthday and ball and when giving his blessing, if he was taken with the presumed bride, it was his right–and one he exercised from time to time–to take the woman for himself. She would leave her home (and her hapless would-be husband) that very night, to join the prince’s court. Their husbands could not reclaim them, but instead must choose a replacement wife.
The prince could command the hand of any woman he chose, even one with a family. If he took a woman with children, she wouldn’t see her children again until they were wives themselves, visiting the castle for parties. To be at the whim of the prince was part of the price the citizens paid for the tonic. Some were more willing than others.
But the prince was overwhelmingly handsome, charming in speech, and strong in will, and none of the women who joined his court could resist him. Meghan only knew this from stories Crone Mother told, as young girls were not allowed to look upon the prince until they were married. Her mother never spoke of the prince, although her eyes would glaze over and her mind would seem far away when her father mentioned him. Her parents, like all the landowners in Beautiful, went nightly to feasts at the prince’s castle. This repetition of festivities was a normal part of their lives. Girls at her finishing school talked feverishly about the day when they would become a beautiful wife and enjoy the prince’s parties.
For some reason, though, these thoughts of tradition and ritual were not a comfort to her. Instead, they drove her on, deeper into the forest.
Breathless, Meghan found her tree, a proud, spreading oak with many low-hanging branches. She hugged its rough bark fiercely, turning to lean against it as she caught her breath. After a few moments, she carefully set her feet into the carved holds on the ancient trunk and climbed up into her leafy refuge. Here she could remain hidden until she was ready to come down. As usual, her hair tangled into the hovering branches, and she settled in thoughtfully to while away the afternoon untwisting the tangles. Ahhh, if only my life could be so easily set straight!
Why was she so afraid to embrace the life of pleasure that stretched before her? Pleasure! Who could turn from such a thing? It should be an exciting adventure; and yet somehow deep within her, she knew something was wrong. Something was missing from this perfect life that awaited her. And, until she unraveled this mystery, there was no way she was marrying Harold the baker.

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